Waiting is the Hardest Part

Its been quite sometime since I last wrote. It has been a hard go for myself and I found that I was just getting sick of talking about being infertile and what has been going on with me and my journey to pregnancy. Most of all I got sick of people asking me about how things were going and then having to put their 2 cents in on what I should be doing or telling me oh don't worry it will happen! I always feel like screaming YOU HAVE KNOW IDEA THAT IT WILL HAPPEN OR NOT AND IF I WANTED YOUR OPINION ON WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING, I'D ASK!!!  It is so extremely frustrating but I know that no one will ever understand what I'm feeling especially if they never had problems with getting pregnant. Even to try and explain it ... well they're just isn't any words to describe the pain and emptiness I feel. 

As for what's been going on with my doctors apt in Toronto at Mt. Sinai , well we are kind of at a stand still. Last month we did cycle monitoring while being on 150 mg of Clomid. I did ovulate (yahoo) but I did not get pregnant. It was a hard month for me because Jamie and I did everything the doctors told us and our timing was perfect. So now I keep asking myself why didn't it happen?? I feel so disappointed because I truly thought that this was the month it would happen since I was being watched closely. Of course AF showed up the day I was suppose to test and I knew it was over... on to another month of trying. So as of now I have finished another 7 days of clomid and go back next week to check my follicles and see if they are maturing and will drop again. I'm trying my hardest to just not think about things this month.  I just don't want to deal with being sad again after more disappointment of another month going by and no baby in my tummy.

At this point I'm still a little heart broken that last month wasn't it but I suppose I need to buck up and give it all I got this month. (easier said then done tho)